In the midst of all chaos, I choose to keep joy in my heart and smiles on my face. Sometimes it’s the hardest to do especially when thoughts are roaming around so freely landing on open spots. Ouch! Gotta keep my focus on what is right and what is important.
Hope that you, yes you, wherever you are, are doing well and is happy! 
Last Saturday, I had Northern Indian food at Pastor Tim’s place with the leadership team just sharing about lives and updating on testimonies and church plans.
Pastor Tim also shared about leaders reaching a point of life as a Christian leader where we will feel less passionate, tired and most distressing of all would be feeling stagnant. Honestly, I do feel more tired than I have felt for a long time and as compared to when I rededicated my life, I am definitely less passionate; not at all burning with the intense fire I used to have.
He then shared that when these happens, there are four key reasons to why one feels as such.
There are four reasons for Stagnation:
1. Lack of Devotion (thus making one weary)
Many people usually fall under this category. This is where people lack of doing devotions. It really is as simple as that. Sometimes we take for granted and not do devotion, sometimes we lose focus and are not discipline in doing them. I remembered my struggles when I first rededicated my life to God. I simply could not sit down and do my devotions every single day. It was truly difficult for me. I only manage to truly commit when I see the priority of God in my life and that I should be able to spend some time with Him everyday instead of wasting my time turning on the internet or reading a good book. Since that day, doing devotions is the time of the day I truly enjoy because that is when He will tell me what I needed to hear and I am aware that there is a true relationship between me and Him. It is also when my empty cup will be replenished again.
2. Lack of Compassion
Before Pastor Tim told us about these four reasons; I have already diagnosed myself in this category. I feel that I have dealt with so many different people; some with difficult attitude problem which drives me insane while others are just plain amazing and easy to love, and that I am running out of love for people. This is a very dangerous diagnosis I must say because when you stop loving people, you just stop seeing the reason of doing what you do because you just don’t love anymore. In fact, before Saturday, I have already kept loving people as one my biggest priority in my prayer list. The need to love is immeasurable. It is what keeps us going when people get difficult. It is what fills Jesus’ heart every single time before a miracle happens. Yes, every single time! So pray with me as I keep loving people as I go through this journey of my ministry.
3. God’s calling
Yes, this is also substantially vital in doing what you do. When you are doing God’s calling, you tend to not feel tired or weary. There will be passion and zeal doing what you do. So if you’re not sure what God’s calling is for you, pray about it. Try different ministry to see which one ignites the fire in you. Mine would be Campus Ministry for now because I love to see young people stand up for God, see young people burn so passionately for Him. That itself keeps me going on. Oh and of course worship ministry. I love singing. I truly do. But I love singing for Him even more.
4. Creativity
This I am not particularly sure or know how I can fit into this category. You see, me and creativity, we are like strangers meeting for the first time; not exactly best of friends! But creativity in doing what we do actually help grows through stagnation. It’s like giving a breath of fresh air!
What I learnt most importantly on that very day would be the fact that every single leader goes through stagnation and I am absolutely relieved knowing that I am not alone in this boat! It helps knowing that you are not alone and that other people goes through it too. So if you are right now in the stage of stagnation; let me know so I can pray with you and perhaps you can too evaluate what is your reason for stagnation. Remember, you are NOT alone!
Blessed weak ahead!
Seriously, even inmates can do something useful with their lives; making it meaningful, making a change from where they are. What more us right? I am so amazed with their discipline and the ability to dance so amazingly like that! SALUTE! Teehee! 
All thanks to Mr. F who never fails to show me amazing youtube videos!
On a lighter note, went to volunteer at the ECC centre again to help the special needs children. It felt truly uplifting in ways I don’t know how to explain! Teehee!
P/s the post below is really private and with the many people checking out my blog(thank you guys u are the best, do come back n show some love!!) I have to protect it with a password so that I don’t scare any of you off with the side of me that may freak you out! Haahaa! Friends who I consider close to me may ask me for the password and I will more than be happy to give it to you. Be warned though that it maybe a little on the sentimental side. Teehee!
Blessed week ahead!
It’s my second day of fasting. Truly enough, yesterday was such a roller coaster ride of a day for me. Not in terms of fasting but rather emotional being.
I had the greatest days with the boys and Uncle in Lakeview Garden just riding on boats, sitting on tourists cars and feeling and acting all childlike and touristy. It was pure fun and laughter; friends who you can be with without feeling like you need to give and try all the time.
Came back, showered and went out again for movies with these two guys who knows me inside out and are like family to me. Sherlock Holmes; not a bad movie BUT not a good ending either so I’m being skeptical but it is alright because of the good looking guys in the movie… cough cough *judelaw* cough cough… Teehee! And of course wonderful company!
The night ruins it all for me; but one thing for sure, I know who I can truly depend on. Thank you darling for taking me in and letting me sleep over and held my hand and took such great care of me! I am blessed. And I love you!
Checking self: sometimes, we just need to look at ourselves in the mirror and see whether we like who we are seeing. The words we speak, does it pierce and hurt? The looks we give, is it cynical and plain rude? The complaints we have, what about our self? Sometimes we need to do a self check up and see whether we are reflecting our Lord and God in character we have, the personality we show to the world. Are we truly acting like the ambassador of Christ?
Attitude check:
The Bible says,
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:” (Philippians 2:5).
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off the old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds.” (Ephesians 4:22 NIV)
Most of us can easily identify bad attitudes when they are displayed outwardly in our words or actions, such a negativeness, criticalness, rebellion, defiance, impatience, uncooperative, apathy, discouragement, independence, presumption, arrogance, self-centeredness, rudeness and such like. These are examples of bad attitudes which Christians should reject. However, keep in mind, attitudes are inner dispositions of the heart and thoughts — they are the hidden intentions which will eventually serve as the basis for our actions.
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Prov. 23:7).
In reality, no one else really knows the thoughts of your heart, except you and God. Consequently, attitude is something that only you and God can work out — a change which must take place inwardly.
Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy; meditate on these things.”
Our attitude should be love, forgiveness, consideration, caring, encouragement, kindness, humility, unselfishness, respectful, and impartial. (John 13:34-35, 15:12, Rom. 12:10, 13:10, 15:7, Jas. 2:9, Eph. 4:2, 4:32, Col. 3:16, 1 Thes. 5:11, Heb. 3:13, 1 Cor. 13:4-8)
Time to self check; are you the way you should be in His image? Good question to ponder! Hope all is well, blessed Sunday!
Today in the midst of the leadership retreat, we shared about the lowest and highest point of our lives in 2009. Even as I realized that I may have been at the losing end many times, perhaps more than usual, I am still blessed beyond comparison with many people who may not even have a chance to live the life I am living. Yes, things may be bad and I am not denying that it doesn’t affect me at all, nonetheless, I am just thankful for the bits and pieces. Truth is, there will always be something in the way wherever you are, no matter your age nor your gender. The only difference is how we accept and see things the way it should be. And instead of cursing and complaining, indulging self with self pity and putting hundreds of blame on others, why won’t we rise above, reflect on the right way to see the change and do something different. There will be no mountains to high or oceans to deep my Lord cannot handle and I truly believe to be the change instead of expecting others to change. Besides, isn’t giving always better than receiving?
Also, keep Malaysia in your prayers especially in the midst of all the havoc and differences of opinion and recently the burning of churches here. Do pray for peace, wisdom of leaders of our nation and unity! Perhaps it’s a time of revival for Malaysia!