Carissa Sammy

Dream Catcher

Had fever Friday all the way to yesterday, the same day I started work and almost did not go to work but went anyway cos cannot afford to give bad impression. Anyhoo, it was bad. It’s been a while since I’ve had fever and such. It doesn’t help that the sore throat, flu and cough complicate my breathing and made my asthma so much worst. A walk to the bathroom made me pant as if I ran a mile or something and sweat started to break out from the skin everywhere. You want to know how it feels? Try holding your breath under water until you can no longer take it but wait for a few more seconds and then get up and you’ll know how it feels to breathe as if air is running out BUT imagine the air sucked in could not be absorbed by the lungs and all you can do is run to the meds for help. The high fever was horrible as well. Wrapped myself in 2 layer of clothes, long pants and blanket, popped in two panadol and try to sweat it all out. Wish I was home where I could be well taken care of without worrying bout such things. Bah!

Anyhoo, worshiped anyway today; with only one guitarist and a pianist and did so much mistakes! I could feel my face go red throughout! Gah! Surrendering to God; I did my best! I truly did! Am glad some people were ministered anyway! God is good!

*****

My new fav song! Thanks to Diana! Hee!

Part of the lyrics

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we’ve got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I’ve always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I’m
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

*****

P/S sometimes I don’t understand why people are not afraid to do it but go all mad when someone else found out about it. Seriously. What’s the catch?

One word.

Own up.

On a lighter note, I think now I know who are those who are real and not. It’s good to know.

Sometimes.

When you walk in a crowded place; without thinking, without really looking and you see familiar faces, some smiling, some giving a simple nod and you know that you are living. You think you can.

There are many more times you stand in a room full of people you know and people you love but it may never come back to you and you know that you may survive. If you hang on.

So many other times you walk with people you call friends whom you think will be there but you look and see a fog and as you push along you feel all your spines are dead cold and you are fearful because behind all that; you are actually alone.

And when the room’s too fogged up and making you cry; you need to stop and run out of it, pushing another door apart hoping that this time, it’ll be alright.

***

(Update)

As I finish writing that last night and did my devotion afterward; these were the words spoken to me:

Romans 5:3-4

³Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴perseverance, character; and character, hope.

What else can I say. I need such character and He is still working on me.