1 Corinthians 13:4-7

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I feel like I can go on and on about the word love. Or how it really is to love. But reading the three verses above felt like all its inner meaning is already summed up so beautifully.

There have been so much drama when it comes to love and relationship recently. I ain’t sure whether it’s the season of love already hence the dramas or rather the ignorance of what love really is and the pursuance of infatuation.

I am quite disturbed with all the lies and the selfishness that a person could have. I think I’m mostly dumbfounded when the guy who pursues the girl becomes all hulk-ish and changed upside down inside out because he cannot accept the fact that the girl doesn’t like him. What used to be the perfect man(though he may not be perfect for the girl itself) becomes a scary crude rude man who only wants to pursue what he wants and never actually thought of what’s best for the girl.

Another scenario would be of the guy pursuing girls all at one time, flirting endlessly and acting all innocent when the girls really fall for them. Seriously?! What happened to protecting the heart of the other? Love protects remember? Not robbed them out of their security and place their heart out for you just to let it crash and burn with your tackiness and your insensitivity.

Love is not something you play around with. It is an emotion so real that it’s meant to make you and not break you.

I have friends around me who taught me “LOVE 101″ which includes tactics to make a man fall in love with you. Let me share with you some of the lessons that they taught me:

• Damsel in distress -  This one’s so famous I’m sure some of you heard of it before. For this method, you have to act all kesian(pitiful) and innocent although you’re not. Ex: When you wanna hang out with the guy, you just have to say you’re not available to your friends, and tell the guy you don’t have anyone to eat dinner(in a very kesian manner) with so he will feel for you and eat dinner with you. Or if someone bullied you, you just have to act all sad and the guy will feel macho and stand up for you then eventually he will feel the need to be with you cos you need him and he sees a need to be the superman. heh. Or act like you cannot do anything; ie cannot fix your own cupboard or stuff. So anyhoo, as you can see, this one doesn’t work for me. I do not want to rely on people okay. No one to eat dinner with; don’t eat. People bully you; stand up and stare with those big eyes until they shiver!*hahahaahahaha! : P* Cupboard; build it yourself. You don’t need no man! (That’s why I’m so fail when it comes to picking guys up. -_-!!) But you really don’t need to lower yourself up to that standard right?! Ohmigoshed!
• Tex-ting until he misses you – How does this work? Easy! Listen up. First, you text him about things you need from him, i.e. Can I borrow your ______? Then afterward, you text him to return the thingiemabob. Later, you text to thank him and say you wanna buy dinner. And the trick is to keep texting him until he’s intertwined with your life. Eventually you have to stop texting him so one fine day, he would feel empty as if something’s missing, and that should be you and your text messages. Then he will realize he loves you(or something in that line) and be the one that start texting you back and stuff like that. My verdict? Don’t want to text me then no need lah. I’ll be fine. Haahaa! : P : P : P
• Touchy-muchie – Okay, for this one you have to be really physical. Like you know, when he tells you a joke, put your hand on him and laugh loudly so that he knows you acknowledge his jokes. Or drop hints by gently touching him whenever you are around. Gentle touch okay. Me? FAIL CHIN CHIN. Touch?! Ermm… I hit guys wan lor. Can’t help it, it’s in the family. Mum’s like that, chae’s like that, and lil sis is like that too. Jokes? Must be funny then I will laugh okay? Not funny takkan expect me to laugh right? -_-!!

Okay three is enough right? I don’t really remember all of it cos well, why remember if you don’t practice right? In fact when I was told of these tricks, I kinda rolled my eyes at them. I mean seriously, it’s so mean to use these tricks right? It’s like manipulation to make the guy fall in love with you! How can you manipulate someone to love you. If they don’t, they don’t. I would rather the guy not love me than to manipulate him into thinking that he loves me!

I simply think that love should be really simple. Simplicity should be the main focus wrapped around God of course. First off, if the guy likes the girl, then pursue her. For real. No pretentious games, no manipulation(I have no idea what kind of tricks guys have hrmm…), no egoistical behavior, no selfishness, just honest, genuine pursuance that will(I believe) touch the girl’s heart. Tell her that you’re interested. Sometimes dropping hints are just not good enough(Some girls just cannot read hints!!) and it’s okay to tell the girl that you’re interested. If she’s not, then as matured as you are in pursuing her, I am sure she’ll treat you with the same respect and tell you properly if she’s not interested. And yes, I truly believe one can still be friends even after deciding that things may not work out.

If however, she is interested, then accountability. Find a church leader or someone to keep you accountable so that things will not go out of hand i.e. sex before marriage and such. It is very important to keep one another pure because just in case things may not work out, at least you know you’ve kept your partner pure and not robbed the person out of his/her worth.

Then if everything works out great, take time to know each other. Enjoy each other’s company as much as you can and be best friends! One would always wanna fall in love with the bestfriend; someone they can talk to and bare themselves out without judgment.

Most importantly however, is that love is to bring out the best in each other and to honour God as well. Everytime you think of loving someone, then at least think of whether you’re bringing out the best in him by doing what you’re doing. Sometimes you just need to let go so that he’ll be able to grow in the likeliness of Christ and be the man God wants him to be. Or otherwise.

I know that this is a really long post but I feel passionate to blog this out so that at least if you’re reading this, then you’ll know to bring out the best in your partner always always always.

I know that I am a nobody, not a love guru definitely but these are my two cents on love and well, I suppose I myself would wanna find a man like that one day; a man who would honour and respect me enough to have my best interest at heart, and me otherwise, and both wants to honour God in our relationship.

I will end with this verse again. This time, read slowly and soak in the words and understand them to the core.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Last Saturday, I had Northern Indian food at Pastor Tim’s place with the leadership team just sharing about lives and updating on testimonies and church plans.

Pastor Tim also shared about leaders reaching a point of life as a Christian leader where we will feel less passionate, tired and most distressing of all would be feeling stagnant. Honestly, I do feel more tired than I have felt for a long time and as compared to when I rededicated my life, I am definitely less passionate; not at all burning with the intense fire I used to have.

He then shared that when these happens, there are four key reasons to why one feels as such.

There are four reasons for Stagnation:

1. Lack of Devotion (thus making one weary)

Many people usually fall under this category. This is where people lack of doing devotions. It really is as simple as that. Sometimes we take for granted and not do devotion, sometimes we lose focus and are not discipline in doing them. I remembered my struggles when I first rededicated my life to God. I simply could not sit down and do my devotions every single day. It was truly difficult for me. I only manage to truly commit when I see the priority of God in my life and that I should be able to spend some time with Him everyday instead of wasting my time turning on the internet or reading a good book. Since that day, doing devotions is the time of the day I truly enjoy because that is when He will tell me what I needed to hear and I am aware that there is a true relationship between me and Him. It is also when my empty cup will be replenished again.

2. Lack of Compassion

Before Pastor Tim told us about these four reasons; I have already diagnosed myself in this category. I feel that I have dealt with so many different people; some with difficult attitude problem which drives me insane while others are just plain amazing and easy to love, and that I am running out of love for people. This is a very dangerous diagnosis I must say because when you stop loving people, you just stop seeing the reason of doing what you do because you just don’t love anymore. In fact, before Saturday, I have already kept loving people as one my biggest priority in my prayer list. The need to love is immeasurable. It is what keeps us going when people get difficult. It is what fills Jesus’ heart every single time before a miracle happens. Yes, every single time! So pray with me as I keep loving people as I go through this journey of my ministry.

3. God’s calling

Yes, this is also substantially vital in doing what you do. When you are doing God’s calling, you tend to not feel tired or weary. There will be passion and zeal doing what you do. So if you’re not sure what God’s calling is for you, pray about it. Try different ministry to see which one ignites the fire in you. Mine would be Campus Ministry for now because I love to see young people stand up for God, see young people burn so passionately for Him. That itself keeps me going on. Oh and of course worship ministry. I love singing. I truly do. But I love singing for Him even more.

4. Creativity

This I am not particularly sure or know how I can fit into this category. You see, me and creativity, we are like strangers meeting for the first time; not exactly best of friends! But creativity in doing what we do actually help grows through stagnation. It’s like giving a breath of fresh air!

What I learnt most importantly on that very day would be the fact that every single leader goes through stagnation and I am absolutely relieved knowing that I am not alone in this boat! It helps knowing that you are not alone and that other people goes through it too. So if you are right now in the stage of stagnation; let me know so I can pray with you and perhaps you can too evaluate what is your reason for stagnation. Remember, you are NOT alone!

Blessed weak ahead!

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